‘We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives’ Quote by John F. Kennedy
Can you remember the last time you said thank you to someone? I am sure you can. Was it at the supermarket when you paid for your groceries? Was it to the delivery driver when he delivered your parcel? Or was it to your son for helping clean the house? Did you thank your daughter for driving you to the train station?
We all say thank you when someone does something for us. It is politeness, good manners.
But it can be more than that.
Maybe at work a colleague has thanked you for supporting her in a difficult meeting. You did not have to chip in when you noticed she was becoming flustered. You could have just let her get on with it, after all, it is part of her job. Instead you spoke up and backed her ideas, giving them substance.
When she thanks you afterwards, how did that make you feel? Probably you felt appreciated and it made you smile. Your kindness had been noticed and she felt grateful for that. Now you feel as if you have done something worthwhile today. Even if the ideas were not accepted in the meeting, that is not the point. You supported your colleague and that helped them at that point in time and they noticed.
Thanking someone and being thanked both make us feel happier. By thanking someone you are showing that you have noticed them and receiving that thank you makes you feel appreciated.
Idea for today: Try to notice 3 acts you can say thank you for.
Don’t just be polite, but be specific in your thanks. For example, if someone listens to you having a moan, maybe your boiler is on the blink and you don’t know if you need to replace it. Notice how they listen to you and when you have finished you could thank them by saying ‘Thank you so much for listening I really needed to get that off my chest!’
If a colleague finishes a report for you, thank them for their time and effort and tell them that you really appreciate their hard work.
There are so many instances when we fail to notice someone else’s effort because we are ‘too busy’ or’ too focused’ on our own tasks. But if we try to take time to look around and listen, we will find so many circumstances to be thankful and by telling someone you have noticedthem, you can lift their whole day.
This is an approach we use at our school with the children. We follow the ‘Nurtured Heart Approach’ which was founded by Howard Glasser (1990s) to support ‘intense’ (challenging) children. It works towards ‘Igniting your Greatness’ and focuses on the positive behaviour rather than the negative. By noticing and thanking children for the behaviour you want, you show them that they are being noticed and appreciated for making the right choices. Everyone enjoys being thanked and appreciated, so relationships are strengthened and behaviour becomes more positive. There are consequences for negative behaviour and several other strands to the Approach but simplified, it is about noticing and thanking small and great acts of positive behaviour. At our school the children also notice and thank the adults for their positivity too!
So open your eyes and ears to notice any ‘random acts of kindness’ and simply say ‘Thank you!’
Want to Explore this Further?
Watch the introduction to NHA by Howard Glasser
Take Action
If you want to work with me to learn more about the Nurtured Heart Approach which can strengthen your relationships with your children, contact me on isabel@norfolklifecoach.co.uk
Or visit my website https://www.norfolklifecoach.co.uk
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