‘I have always taken great pride in managing my life alone. I’m a sole survivor – I’m Eleanor Olifhant. I don’t need anyone else – there’s no big hole in my life, no missing part of my own particular puzzle. I am a self- contained entity. That’s what I‘ve always told myself, at any rate.’ Quote from the book ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’ by Gail Honeyman.
One of my greatest pleasures currently is reading stories, ‘fiction’ we name it in the education business. A few years ago I only allowed myself time to read fiction during my summer holidays…I felt I did not have time to read books, other than those related to my work. I read coaching manuals and teaching and learning documents, education magazines… everything I read had to have a ‘value’ connected to my work.
Recently, when the last of my children left home to live independently I found myself feeling lost and sad. I missed them all so much. I no longer had any need to prepare meals, their bedrooms remained empty and clean, the bathrooms shiny and fresh and suddenly the mountain of washing was not even a hill. I did live with my partner but my life had changed from the hustle and bustle of family life trying to fit everything in…housework, cooking and work to work and…?
I know lots of women in my situation find the freedom of living without their children exhilarating and liberating. They tell me how they enjoy being able to decide at the drop of a hat that ‘this weekend we are taking a city break, just the two of us’, or ‘it’s great to be able to watch the films I want to watch’ and ‘I have so much more time now the children have gone.’
True, I do have more time and I am getting used to it, now reading is my new best hobby!
When I read a great book I love to tell everyone about it, that is why I am writing this blog about ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’ by Gail Honeyman. I have to thank a friend of mine for telling me about it and very kindly sending me a copy. The book makes you wonder about Eleanor’s life and it has parts which will resonate with many of us. It twists and turns and makes you laugh out loud in one sentence, before dropping you like a stone in the next.
It does help you to realise that it is often the smallest kind comment or act which can mean the most to us.
Idea for today: Think about a recent moment when someone said something kind or acted in a caring way towards you. Remember how you felt.
It may have been a friend or a colleague at work, or a family member. Whoever it was and whatever it was that they said or did, it would have given you a feeling of appreciation. You probably smiled and said ‘Thank you’. Later, you would remember that comment or act, maybe as you wash up the dinner things or as you are brushing your teeth getting ready for bed. And again you feel appreciated. Those tiny acts of kindness are more than a one off moment, they will be remembered and will continue to make you feel valued and happy.
Whilst I was reading ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’, I thought of the kindness we show each other and how we often do not even realise what effect that will have on the other person. None of us can completely know about each other’s lives, the past and the present, but we can appreciate each other and these acts of appreciation may make all the difference to someone.
Want to Explore this Further?
Take time to read the book.
Take Action
If you want to work with me to see the meaning to your life, contact me on isabel@norfolklifecoach.co.uk
Or visit my website https://www.norfolklifecoach.co.uk
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