‘The test of a good coach is that when they leave, others will carry on successfully’
I recently delivered a training session: ‘An Introduction to Supervision’ to Senior Leaders of Education and on one of the feedback forms one of the delegates had left a comment which asked for some coaching starter questions. ‘What a great question’ I thought but coaching is such an intense subject, how can I offer any support in such a short time?
I spent some time thinking about this as I wanted to follow up my session by thanking the delegates for their time and participation and emailing to them the feedback from the group. From my own experience (probably because I am incredibly nosy!) I always want to know what other people have written on their feedback evaluations. And let’s admit it, they are the bain of every training course! Just when you think you can leave, the ‘Evaluation Form’ is waved under your nose and we all feel obliged to fill it in, even though you can never think of anything witty to add!
So I thought about the books I have read and which have been succinct and useful. I have read many and I will pass on my thoughts about others in the future, but one stood out for me as being easy to read and perfect for this situation. I had read this on my kindle but loved it so much I bought a hard copy too.
‘The Coaching Habit’ by Michael Bungay- Stanier.
Idea for today: Ask yourself the question “What’s on my mind”, “What else?”
This book explains how we can get to the heart of what is bugging someone, by asking this question: “What’s on your mind?” It gives advice when asking someone else what is on their mind, but for this exercise we will turn it around to think about what is bugging us? I always jot my ideas down when carrying out these types of task, maybe because I am a visual learner.
I write down my problem of the moment, then think deeper to explore if there is anything else to add. My mind is like a spider web, but not so symmetrical (as is my diary, if you ever see the way I add my appointments!)
Next I think of possible solutions and then number them in order of expected success. I choose one to run with and review after a week. I think a week is a good time for me because I have the patience and attention span of a gnat. If after a week, it is looking OK I will run for another week. Six weeks is my ideal ‘formal review’. I use a scaling score to evidence my thinking and my ‘gut reaction’ is usually the key for my next step. I remember a fantastic training I attended when the trainer talked about our ‘two brains’.
Our stomach is our first brain and it tells us how we are feeling and we need to listen. It tells us when we are angry, sad, happy, worried. We feel ‘butterflies, sickness, pain’. Our second brain is in our head and this is the brain we usually use to help decide the outcome to a decision.
But I always advice colleagues to ‘go with your guts’. It is what I always do. Why? Because I believe our basic instincts are important.
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If you want to work with me to improve your life , contact me on isabel@norfolklifecoach.co.uk
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