‘It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you are not.’ Quote by Denis Waitley. (American motivational speaker and author of ‘The Psychology of Winning')
There has been much in the news recently about ‘Imposter Syndrome’ and how the most successful of people can doubt their accomplishments and fear that they will be ‘found out’ and exposed as a ‘fraud’. They are convinced that they do not deserve all they have achieved and incorrectly attribute their success to luck. They believe they have tricked others into believing they are more intelligent than they really are.
When it was first introduced in 1978, researched by Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes, it was thought to be more prevalent amongst high-achieving women, but since then evidence shows it is much wider than this group. No one is immune, actors, politicians, bankers, leaders in all industries. The good news is that it is not a mental disorder, but rather a reaction to specific stimuli and events. Symptoms include thoughts such as, “I must not fail”, “I just got lucky”, “It’s because they like me”, “If I can do it anyone can” and “I had connections”.
This has been a revelation to me as it explains so much about my life! I have always explained my successes with these phrases. I honestly did believe that when I was given promotions at work that it was because “I got lucky”, “I was in the right place at the right time!” I have always said “If I can do it, anyone can!” I do still believe success does come with hard work but an element of luck is crucial. I also believe in making connections and often hear myself saying “It’s not what you know it’s who you know!”
I guess I have been aware of ‘Imposter Syndrome’ for a while, but I never had a name for it. I have worked with colleagues who have also made comments such as, “I really don’t know what I am doing, one day someone will find out!” And I have said the same. I have been able to empathise with these colleagues because I totally understand that feeling!
Idea for today: Think of some of your achievements in life. How have these happened?
Did they really just ‘happen to you?’ Or did you work hard to learn a new skill or take a brave risk. Did you spend a few years working at ground level and show such commitment to your job that your bosses appreciated your support and could see your potential? If you think deeply and note down each step which enabled you to get closer to where you are now I bet you will notice more than luck!
I believe there are strategies we can use to push away those feelings of self- disbelief and instead celebrate our achievements in the way we truly deserve to. As a lifecoach I can help you to become more self – aware and build your resilience. By knowing our own strengths and understanding how these have been the foundations of our success, rather than luck alone, we can accept that we do deserve to be where we are and embrace it!
As I have grown older I have begun to realise that is actually OK sometimes to not have all the answers. Sometimes we just need to ask the right questions. Feeling lost and stuck is a natural beginning to experience and growth. If we never have to struggle with a new situation we will never move on. I also believe, after dealing with so many difficulties in my life, that there is never one that will be too big for me to work on. I accept that I may not be able to solve every problem that is thrown my way but I will do the best I can and who can ask more than that?
Want to Explore this Further?
Watch this TED Talk by Valerie Young
Take Action
If you want to work with me to reduce those feelings of ‘imposter syndrome’, contact me on isabel@norfolklifecoach.co.uk
Or visit my website https://www.norfolklifecoach.co.uk
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